My first job after I arrived in the United States of America in 1999 was a waitress at one of the leading Assisted Living Residents in Bucks County, Pennsylvania. Out of my colleagues that were introduced to me by my supervisor was a woman whose average age could be about 58 years.
Meet Elizabeth, said my supervisor as she pointed towards her.
I was shocked that an elderly woman like her would be addressed by her first name and by someone who obviously was at least 10 years younger than her.
How could that be? How disrespectful and lack of regards to elders? Silently I asked myself.
These thoughts echoed through my mind for a long time while working with her. What was most troubled was that the residents who were mostly as old as my grandparents were also called by their names.
I found it extremely offensive and disturbing that I was driven to raise the topic one day at work. The conclusion was that older people in America liked it when they are addressed by their first names as this made them feel younger. This was contrasting to the society where I grew up. In Nigeria, the culture doesn’t allow the young ones to address any elderly person by their first names, and also to shake hands with elders, or hug them as a form of greetings. We were taught to kneel down if you are a girl and prostrate if you are a boy as a sign of respect when greeting.
Initially I was in my “cultural cruise control.” Adjusting to the Individualism culture of American society having lived my life in a society where power struggle is eminent was very challenging but I had to find a common ground between the two cultures in order to blend with my new cultural environment.
This is so interesting! I was born and raised in the U.S. so I haven't really thought about this cultural practice before. I am sure that a large portion of the world regards elders similarly to Nigeria, that they should be held to the utmost respect. Sometimes I actually get frustrated with the way people in our society treat senior citizens, such as not holding the door for them and things like that. I am curious to know what factors have played into this mindset in our country. Thanks for the different perspective!
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Dear Amanda, thank you for your comment and concerns about how senior are being treated in American society. I think that the cultural difference is the factor. Culture is one of the elements that shape the structure of a society so what is acceptable in Nigeria might not be acceptable in United States. American societal foundation was built on individualist culture whereby each member of the society is primarily concerned with his/herself interest and those of immediate family, but Nigeria was built on collectivist culture where the society members are integrated cohesively in groups. Thus explains why younger people in American society treat senior citizens with less regards in public places. I hope this response answer your concerns.
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