Chapter 12

The Patriarchal Society

Africa is one of the continents that place high priority on gender, a patriarchal society. In the past it was very common to place the success of marriages on one that has an heir apparent. The pressure of giving birth to a boy has driven many marriages to collapse, expectant mother who should be joyous of the opportunity of bringing forth another life are more skeptical and fearful as the gender of the unborn baby is unknown especially if such mother hasn’t given her husband a male child.

 Many marriages failed due to the fact that some wives couldn’t bore a male child that would take after the family’s name and legacy. According to what I gathered from my parents it was so bad at that time that some in-laws (from the husband) would often intervene by encouraging the husbands to marry another woman or frustrates the wife out of her matrimonial home. The blame of not having a male child is solely her fault.  Such ignorant and callous treatments have been melted out to many African women for years.

I must confess that this is one aspect of my culture that I hated. Although the traits of this gender superiority still exist in our society it wasn’t as terrible as it was. (Thank God for the sociological changes and civilization). African women despite the huge improvements in their social lives still predominantly lives their life for their families.

Besides my cousins that lived with us, my mum didn’t bore a male child for my dad (I have three sisters) and I wondered how she survived not losing her matrimonial home to another woman.

My mum told me that my dad was actually pressured by his mother to get rid of her or marry another wife when she found out that I was a baby girl after my birth (I was number 3). Luckily for her my father refused to succumb to any of those stupidities, his stubbornness saved us from being separated, thank goodness.

Growing up in Lagos-Nigeria, I still remember how fathers are overjoyed when their wives gave birth to a boy. I have seen many mothers cried bitterly after giving birth to another baby girl.

Naming ceremony is a big celebration in my culture but it usually comes with a twist.  For a male child the celebrations are always excessive with pump and pageantry especially if the baby is the first son or if the woman has repeatedly given birth to more than one boy. Such woman would be considered fruitful and a source of envy by ‘unfortunate women’.

For years my mother and my paternal grandmother didn’t get along because she believed that dad listened to my mother (my mother was categorize as ‘unfortunate woman’ since she didn’t have a boy) instead of her.

Another common practice in the past was how some families would rather send a male child to school, or learns a trade whilst female child are nurtured to be obedient and submissive housekeepers, good wife and a mother (Subordinates). The perception was that it would be a waste of money, time, and resources if a female child was sent to school after all the culture believes that “woman education ends in the kitchen”. The fact that female child would eventually marry and change her last name to her husband’s meant that she’s economically insignificant to her biological family. For that reason many parents would rather invest on a male child’s education as they are considered the breadwinners and head of households.

There were few fathers like my dad who refused to succumb to all these cultural nonsense, a situation that has deprived many young girls the opportunities of being educated.

Chapter 11

Was it Bias or Office Politics?

I was privileged to work for one of the reputable Banks in the Twin Cities some few years back but had to quit due to frustration and what till today I perceived as preferential treatment on the part of my manager towards me.

I was hired as a Bookkeeper and my job mainly was to handle accounting daily activities such as Invoicing, accounts payable, accounts receivable, and general ledger.

My background and knowledge in Accounting due to the fact that I have done few professional exams in Accounting in the past and also at that time I was an Accounting student at Hennepin Technical College made the job easy and satisfying for me.

As years passed by, I progressed into doing activities beyond my scope of duties, my supervisor after she realized how proficient I was in Accounts made me to do Reconciliation Statements Accounts (a duty that was designed for the position of Accounts Clerk II). Initially I didn’t mind, I felt I was not only challenging my personal skills but also preparing myself for any opportunities that it might present.

Each time there was an opening in Accounts Clerk II position, my supervisor would always encouraged me to apply with the hope that I would get it and on each occasion I always felt short for unknown reason. The comments the manager always gave me was that another person has been considered and I should keep the hope alive.

What frustrated me the most was that the management always made me to train the successful candidate.

By the time I summoned the courage to speak to my supervisor about how frustrated I was, I had already trained three employees on how to do Reconciliation Statements. While I saw progression in colleagues that met me at the organization yours sincerely remained redundant at one position “Bookkeeper”. My supervisor felt bad and told me that she couldn’t understand why I wasn’t given the opportunity as she did recommend me to the Human Resources and the Manager of my skills and proficiency on each occasion she was invited to give her opinion. She also said just like me, that she was frustrated at the whole process of consideration as well.

On paper I knew I qualified for the job because I met all the eligibility requirements such as excellent attendance with no Occurrences, accounting background, and experience what else do they want? That was the very first time I felt slighted and inferior and as the feeling of frustration grew stronger I decided to quit because I knew I wasn’t happy working in that hostile and bias environment any longer.

Chapter 10 (B)

The Caste System

Caste system is one of the negative characteristics of human society but celebrated by those that considered themselves superior to other even when they are of the same culture, ethnicity, and race.

The Eastern part of Nigeria is predominantly occupied by Igbo culture. Before the embrace of orthodox religions these people worship gods and deities.

Their society is classified into (1) Nwadiala, meaning ‘sons of the soil’, these group of people categorized themselves as the ‘Freeborn’ and they are the ‘Masters’. The second class of people is called the ‘OSU’ which means the slaves, the strangers, the outcasts, and the untouchables.  

This class of people was treated with disdain, humiliated and subject to all kinds of abuse ranging from discrimination and other forms of abuse. Example, they are prevented from social interaction or relationship such as marriage, dancing, or drinking with the Nwadiala (the son of the soil).

http://www.nigeriavillagesquare.com/index2.php?option=com_content&do_pdf=1&id=5449

This form of stereotype still quietly exists till date in Igbo traditional culture despite the embrace of Christianity, and globalization. The OSU Caste System still disallow marriages between the Nwadiala and the so called Osu. The consequences if violated include permanently barring the parties involved from their kinsmen and society.

Chapter 10

Constraint Budget

I must confess that this assignment was tasking and challenging than I ever thought it would be. It was so because culturally my type of food differs from most food that could be found in most American dinner tables. This compelled me to interview an American. Fortunately, I met a lady at a grocery store (racial background will not be disclosed, as it’s not relevant with this assignment) who opened up to me after I offered to help her carry some of her groceries to her car.

A conversation that started casually ended up in emotions. I know that majority of low-income families struggle (even my humble self struggle with my income) but my conversation with this lady gave me a depth understanding of the difficulties and daily predicaments of a widow and other families  raising  more than 3 children with a low income.

Before the demise of her husband in 2008 they were living in a rented apartment and both of them were working with a combined annual income before tax of $42,000. But after the death of her husband she moved to the basement of her aged parent’s house in order to cut expenses. She gave me the rundown of her monthly expenses as follows:

Bi-weekly income $636.00 ($1272 per month)

Monthly rent $300

Utilities- Gas $35 per week

Electricity $40

Water $12

Food $100.00 per week

Internet service $45.00

Cable service N/A

Call Phone $45.00

Clothing $60.00 per month

Car Insurance $48.00 per month

Health Insurance $75.00 per month

Babysitter N/A

By my estimation her average monthly spending amounted to $1,165 which leaves her with $107.00 dollar ($1272-$1165). She told me that her aged parents have been helping her with the children when she’s away working and in school and that was the reason she didn’t include the cost of babysitter. Also she had to cut cable service on her Television, her reason was that she hardly watches reality shows and also her children are young and can still watch cartoons and other educative programs on local channels.

She told me that she has to learn how to make quick and easy meals instead of going to restaurants or buying pre-cooked foods which are more expensive.

In her conversation I found out that she shops at Goodwill store, Wal-Mart and K-Mart for her children clothing. For groceries she shops at Dollar store, Aldi grocery store, and Wal-Mart.

Not every family is fortunate to have a supportive family member like my friend whose parents are helping her to take care of her kids.

I do not see a healthy and vibrant society if millions of people are unhealthy, hungry and depressed due to lack of basic needs. Recent report on literacy ranking among OECD member countries showed that America is sinking at a faster rate (from 2^nd to 15^th). And has recorded higher number of school dropouts among teenagers. Also violent and crimes such as robbery, theft, and homicides continue to rise.  The society will continue to witness civil unrest in forms of protests and vandalism of public goods. While number of depression patients will continue to escalate. Social aid from government such as welfare checks, unemployment benefits will continue to run high the government expenditures.

Living in poverty is not a choice but circumstantial, it can be fixed if we want to.

 

Chapter 9

Educational Crisis

The city of London braced up for another massive turnout of students and activists who are protesting against the impending hike in current tuition fees to 9000 pounds starting next year. According to the news, it was reported that over 10,000 students marched through the city of London on Wednesday to voice out their angers and frustrations over the insensitivity of the country's law makers over the plight of low-income families and students. The high tuition fees is said to triple the current tuition fees paid by students.
For more on the news please click the link below:

http://www.news.com.au/breaking-news/uk-students-protest-high-tuition-fees/story-e6frfku0-1226190780494

It would be recall that similar incident happened in Chile, one of the most peaceful country in South America in August where over 4000 students and activists protested against over the “costs, profits and fairness of higher education” imposed by the government.

http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2011/09/student_protests_in_chile.html

Chapter 9

Education is a Tough Love

Being a student here in United States is more challenging than I’ve ever anticipated. I realized how difficult it is for student like me to combine your factory job working 40 hours or more per week in order to sustain yourself and also to maintain your status as a full time student taking more than 16 credits (4 classes) per semester. 

Considering the everyday stress such as sleeplessness, mounting bills and sending money home to your old folks (if you are from a collective culture like me) and sustaining yourself further convinced me that a success ladder is a rigorous step to climb. In order to attain that desired social class you have dreamt of all your life and enjoy all the juicy benefits that comes with it, will require hard work, perseverance, courage, and ambition, otherwise that dream might be unrealizable. I have to come to understand why many students are unable to complete their degree. The financial pressure is just overwhelming especially if you are not eligible for grants and loans as this is becoming an epidemic that requires a drastic measure by the government if America is serious about the education of the future generations.

Though I’ve not graduated but I can notice that the perception of me from my immediate boss at work and some of my colleagues who knew I’m a student has changed from what it was when I first started.  Now that the management are aware that I’m close to graduate, my supervisor has been giving me the opportunity to do lots of administrative activities rather than my regular production work. Recently, I was chosen to be part of a group called ‘think group’. This group consists of supervisors, R&D personnel, and selected few of unskilled operators that have exemplifies themselves through their skills to sit with them in order to share ideas on research and other work related projects.

I believe the prestige of being a Hamline student  clearly sets me apart from the rest of my colleagues at work, the reaction on their faces each time I tell them of my school speaks volume hence my nomination. It feels good when you found yourself in the company of those that are considered the brain of a big organization like the company I work for. This has triggered and convinced me that with a degree I can elevate my status and live a better life. It’s just a matter of time I know have a future in any reputable  company out there, and I’ve determined that no pain or stress will mar my road to success.

Chapter 8 (Blog 2)

Relativism Approach

One of the interesting news stories causing lots of media buzz and commotion among the people of  Nigeria, my country is the debate on whether to legalize “Same Sex Marriage” or not.  It was reported that there was a march by some Gays and Lesbians activists to the House of Representative demanding that there should be passage of law to legalize same sex union in Nigeria. Consequently, it was unanimously voted against by the house.

“Abomination, Sinful, this is an invitation of Biblical Sodom and Gomorrah to Nigeria, never would that be allowed in my lifetime”. These are some of the words and quotes used to describe the bill not only by the members of the house but also the majority of the  populace to describe those that are involved or believed in this type of relationship.

 I can’t deny the fact that Gays and Lesbians doesn’t  exist in Nigeria, or any Sub-Saharan African country it’s just that based on the cultural values and norms of the society, union of same sex is considered a “taboo” and under no circumstance should it be allowed to exist. To many Africans that is the cultural practice of the “Western States” and because we are constantly embracing the sociological changes brought to us by globalization and civilization should not be a factor that would mar us from our own cultural belief.

This is a typical example of what Newman described as “Relativism approach to defining deviance that rests on the assumption that deviance is socially created by collective human judgments and ideas”.

To the Western States polygamous is considered grievous just like Gays and Lesbians are perceived overwhelmingly in African society.

http://tribune.com.ng/index.php/news/30536-same-sex-marriage-offensive-to-nigerian-tradition--mark