Impression Management

My relationship with Sandy a colleague and an Asian descendant from Vietnam for over three months at work has consistently grown from just being an ordinary colleague to a close friendship. We basically do almost everything together at work. One day while we were on lunch break she broke the silence between us.

Lara I need to apologized to you. She said.

With a surprised look I asked why I deserved an apology.

 You do because prior to my transfer to your department and working with you, I have made some judgments of you and  based on my judgments ,myself and some friends had formed opinion of your character negatively, in fact some of my friends don’t like you.

I was stunned but not surprised because that would not be the first time I will hear that.  

But I didn’t pre-empt her so she could tell me exactly what led to that.

The first questions she asked were why I don’t smile often and also why is it that I always argue with everybody including the supervisor. Sandy would further say that her earlier perception of me was that I’m too feisty and arrogant. But after working with me for this short time she realized how wrong she was.

I’d judged you based on your appearance and strong personalities. You have been everything but opposite my earlier judgments of you and that is the reason why I have to apologize to you. She said.

The confession of Sandy made me realize how easy and fast people could formed opinion of you and also wonder how many of my colleagues shared her sentiments.

Being an introvert doesn’t make me a mean person, and despite being an introvert I’ve never been shy to ask salient questions concerning safety and well-being that concerns the operation workers where I’m categorized from any superior staff in any of our general meetings.

How does that make me a feisty person?  If my attitude or character is bad I wouldn’t have lasted these years that I’ve been working with the company. To me it’s simply a personality conflicts.

In my culture you have to see what amuses you before you smile otherwise you could be mistaken to be mentally sick. I remembered when I first arrived at the United States and people I don’t know smiles at me, I felt awkward  on each occasion it happens and I always asked myself why they are smiling at someone they don’t know from Adam? But as I grew to understand and accustomed myself with some of the norms and culture of United States, I found it complimenting to either smile at someone or someone smiles back at me.

Ever since the confession of Sandy, I’ve been more conscious of my appearance and non-verbal attitude I put up in public.

I guess that is what Impression management is all about.