I found it challenging to do this assignment because it makes me feel uncomfortable and somehow embarrassing. Luckily an opportunity presented itself at a friend’s barbeque gathering this past weekend.
I had debrief my friend of my earlier intention of singing and dancing to myself in order to get psychological reactions and responses of her guests which were a mixture of friends from different ethnicities and races.
After settling down among the guests, I suddenly stood up and started singing a song in my native language and also dancing at the same time.
Personally I noticed that the first time I did it people didn’t pay much attention to me, the impression I got was that of a person in a party mood. Most of them just stared and smiled. There was a sense of normalcy.
But after the third time, my friend who had been watching told me that many of our other friends from Africa have been coming to her asking if I’m okay. It was worrisome to those who knew me to be a private and quiet person to see me acting that way in public.
One of my African friends wasn’t convinced with the celebrant’s response that she came up to me.
Lara, are you okay? She asked.
Yes of course I responded.
I knew my response didn’t convince her, the expression on her face said it all.
While the Africans were worried about my offensive and disturbing behavior, the few friends from other racial background and ethnicity seem not to mind. They either laugh or ignore me completely.
I wasn’t surprised that the Africans reacted the way they did. Typically in African society it’s against the norms of the society to see people dancing and singing loud continuously by themselves without a played music. The perception and impression is that you are acting lunatic, which could raise the question of your mental wellness.
Despite leaving in United States for so long this experiment made me realize that the traits of nonmaterial culture is an invisible force, a silent voice that echoes in people’s mind and a constant guidance of your activities and moral behaviors. It’s also a warning when going against such values, norms, beliefs, and customs that nurtured you to be who you are.
It’s not that my Americans friends at the party didn’t care. They just didn’t find what I was doing to be strange, because the society’s values and norms primarily are meant to be concerned for yourself and your immediate family. Also America values civil liberties such as freedom of speech, and personal accountability of one’s actions and such nonmaterial culture of my American friends might have prevented them from asking me what was wrong with me otherwise they would violate their own norms by intruding into my privacy. I knew if my erratic behavior had gone uncontrollably, they would simply call the authority.
In other hand, my Africa friends will be thinking of how to get my parents or my close relations, while some will even cry with the thought that I’m mentally sick. We tend to prioritize the well-being of the member of our collective group over ours.
It’s just the way of life…
Lara,
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I, too, danced in an unexpected way in a public place. I think people thought I was crazy, just as your African friends thought of you. I think it is interesting that some people just laughed or ignored you. I think some people just thought that maybe I was a drunken college student. It's is shame, isn't it, that behavior like that in our experiments maybe considered normal if people think we are under the influence of alcohol.
Great post!